B2MEM 2009
Mar. 3rd, 2009 02:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
illwyndSo it's March again, and time to go back to Middle-earth! I don't know how well I'll be able to keep this up, as this is destined to be a crazy month for me, but I'm gonna try to get some stuff out there!
So, for today, a bit of utter silliness: an Orc song!
Title: All Orcs Sing Out of Tune
By illwynd
Disclaimer: I doubt Tolkien's Orcs would ever make this complaint, but there ya go.
Notes: I've got no ideas for a tune for this, sadly enough. I was going to work on it with a friend who's actually good at composing, but never got around to it. Maybe someday!
Elves sing sorrowful laments and ancient lays
Hobbits’ furry feet tap all their cheerful days
Dwarves strum on viols as they dig down in the gloom
And Ents somehow make music from “Burrarum!”
The Men of Rohan charge into battle in song,
The Men of Gondor think one up before long,
The Haradrim’s Mûmak stomps a beat to make you flee,
And even Easterlings never raid out of key!
Why can we not make music in Mordor?
Have you ever heard of an Orc-band before?
The bone-flutes sound so sweet,
Man-skin drums keep the beat,
But it’s no use—all Orcs sing out of tune!
Gollum, with his diet, surely knows the scales
And the Nazgûl have very melodic wails
Ghân-buri-Ghân knows how to play the drum
And the voices of Beornings are lovely to some
The Crebain can sing a few bars, you know,
And I’ve heard the Balrog tried drumming down below
Shelob spins a little jig when tying you in strings,
And everyone knows that Tom Bombadil sings!
But we never make music in Mordor!
Have you ever heard of an Orc-band before?
The bone-flutes sound so sweet,
Man-skin drums keep the beat,
But it’s no use—all Orcs sing out of tune!
Radagast sings—he learned how from a sparrow
Saruman’s voice was great before he met a Hobbit’s arrow
Mithrandir sings with Bilbo—the song goes on and on
And you know the blue wizards sing in the eastern dawn.
Everything in Arda knows how to sing and dance,
And the Valar knew all this long in advance,
But our maker Morgoth—though he sang just as well—
Is banished, and we’re left in our out-of-key hell!
Oh, we never make music in Mordor!
Have you ever heard of an Orc-band before?
Though the bone-flutes sound sweet,
Man-skin drums keep the beat,
It’s just no use—all Orcs sing out of tune!
***
Now, that was fun, wasn't it? :D
So, for today, a bit of utter silliness: an Orc song!
Title: All Orcs Sing Out of Tune
By illwynd
Disclaimer: I doubt Tolkien's Orcs would ever make this complaint, but there ya go.
Notes: I've got no ideas for a tune for this, sadly enough. I was going to work on it with a friend who's actually good at composing, but never got around to it. Maybe someday!
Elves sing sorrowful laments and ancient lays
Hobbits’ furry feet tap all their cheerful days
Dwarves strum on viols as they dig down in the gloom
And Ents somehow make music from “Burrarum!”
The Men of Rohan charge into battle in song,
The Men of Gondor think one up before long,
The Haradrim’s Mûmak stomps a beat to make you flee,
And even Easterlings never raid out of key!
Why can we not make music in Mordor?
Have you ever heard of an Orc-band before?
The bone-flutes sound so sweet,
Man-skin drums keep the beat,
But it’s no use—all Orcs sing out of tune!
Gollum, with his diet, surely knows the scales
And the Nazgûl have very melodic wails
Ghân-buri-Ghân knows how to play the drum
And the voices of Beornings are lovely to some
The Crebain can sing a few bars, you know,
And I’ve heard the Balrog tried drumming down below
Shelob spins a little jig when tying you in strings,
And everyone knows that Tom Bombadil sings!
But we never make music in Mordor!
Have you ever heard of an Orc-band before?
The bone-flutes sound so sweet,
Man-skin drums keep the beat,
But it’s no use—all Orcs sing out of tune!
Radagast sings—he learned how from a sparrow
Saruman’s voice was great before he met a Hobbit’s arrow
Mithrandir sings with Bilbo—the song goes on and on
And you know the blue wizards sing in the eastern dawn.
Everything in Arda knows how to sing and dance,
And the Valar knew all this long in advance,
But our maker Morgoth—though he sang just as well—
Is banished, and we’re left in our out-of-key hell!
Oh, we never make music in Mordor!
Have you ever heard of an Orc-band before?
Though the bone-flutes sound sweet,
Man-skin drums keep the beat,
It’s just no use—all Orcs sing out of tune!
***
Now, that was fun, wasn't it? :D
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-03 09:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-03 09:56 pm (UTC)Thanks for the insightful comment! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-04 12:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-04 02:30 pm (UTC)I'm sorta imagining the cacophony that would result if Orcs actually sang it. :P
(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-04 03:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-04 02:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-03-10 01:49 pm (UTC)